when we sway i go weak

So, most of the time I'm just a silly college girl, but sometimes I'm seriously cool.

Like: my adviser is irritated with me because I have the status of a second-semester third year ... yes, you read right, that's a year AHEAD. I'm barred from taking any more history classes next semester because if I do, the College will force me to graduate at the end of my third year.

I mean, if I actually *wanted* to graduate a full year early, I'd need to take about seven classes both semesters. I ... don't really feel the need to do that (as sexy as the thought of graduating university at twenty is). What would I do with myself? Become a vagrant for an extra year? But I'm damnably close, apparently.

That being said, of course I'm talking about applying to the history honors program and declaring a second (French) major. But! great news. I'm going to do my best to only take 12 credits (4 classes; the minimum for a full-time undergrad) from here on out. No more of this senseless 15+ credit nonsense! No more staying up until 1 am working when I have class at 8 am the next day! No more trying to read three books at the same time!

Well, probably still *some*, but a hella lot less.

What does this mean for me, realistically? Making every single karate / kendo class without any prior commitments to get in the way. Riding ... at LEAST four days a week, probably five. I might try to groom for someone, a couple days a week? And give lessons. Of course, if I actually get into the DMP, it won't be so exciting as all that. But I should still be able to take a lighter course load.

Speaking of riding (as I so often do), I cantered Pepsi bareback for the first time yesterday. I was terrified in the half-second it took him to transition, even though my seat is technically perfect and my legs are strong. I actually closed my eyes (about as safe as closing your eyes while driving a car) and held my breath because I was *so sure* I was going to hit the ground. When I didn't fall, I opened my eyes and we were on the other side of the ring! I could feel his haunches pushing behind me, sliding me back and forth along his spine, my hips opening like a pair of french doors, but my lower legs miraculously still and quiet. I held onto his mane with one hand, taking both reins in the other, and pressed my knees into the sides of his shoulders. And I laughed as we flew past the gate, my beautiful little horse charging down the ring track and me on his back, white-knuckling the reins and laughing like an idiot. That's where little Andi found us, staggering down to a walk that almost threw me with its suddenness.

Although it might sound like a little thing, it's not. It was the most amazing feeling -- like learning to ride all over again, like falling in love, like being born or giving birth to something amazing that's entirely yours. It's like ... diving from ten meters, feeling your body arch and twist in the air and being terrified that you're about to be in so much pain, but instead you pierce the water at the perfect angle and for a moment you're one and the same. It's a climactic moment, but it's also the beginning of an entirely new thing.

In this case, that thing is riding bareback and similar unofficial equitation arts. There's always been a wall between me and the people at the barn who ride bareback, and now that's gone. Now I have the confidence to get on my horse (mine! squee!) and practice all of these things, to fall off but also to get back on, every time, until one of us gives out or I discover something new.