raspberry vinagrette

[This hour I tell things in confidence,
I will not tell everyone but I will tell you.]
-Walt Whitman

Oh, thou, within whose mighty poet-heart
two fathomless abysses are intertwined:
the deepness of the pure, blue heavens and
the softly cradled deepness of the earth;
within whose heart arose the sun, the moon,
and where, in all their bright magnificence,
stars without number blazed, whole worlds of stars;
within whose heart the buds of May awoke,
and where the harsh voice of thunder sand
beside the twitter of the nightingale;
within whose overwhelming chant one feels
the pulse of nature, its omnipotence;

immortal bard, I honor thee: I kneel
upon thy dust, before thy dust, and sing.
-Morris Rosenfeld

Props to anyone who can tell me how those two are related.

Dark chocolate peanut m&m's - the best. Go try some.

I thought I had nothing else to say, but apparently I was wrong. I love this song beyond all reason, love it in a windows down music up country roads during the summer kind of way. I don't really drive around for the fun of it anymore but this is the kind of song that makes me want to do it again. [king of night vision, king of insight].

I am like this sometimes. I had a wildly disappointing morning, between only getting a few hours of sleep, deciding not to go to class and sleep in only to discover that I didn't feel well and couldn't get back to sleep. I ended up doing work and freaking out about my French paper (just finished that, finally) and then going to ride, at least. Which made me spinningly, almost violently, happy -- and then I swung back to agonizing. So then I spent four hours writing a four page paper.

The gym, laundry, and dinner all fit in there somewhere. Now I am sitting with my eyes pressed closed and my back against the wall, avoiding the stare of the bright spotlights I have on to keep me from falling asleep. I am pretending that I won't be woken up in the night or tailed during the morning by wave after wave of pain. I'm going to be disappointed if I have to spend the afternoon lying in bed, especially since I can go to kendo tomorrow if I feel up to it.

There's nothing I can do except wait, and stay still. I am a girl, and that's fine with me, except I'm never very far away from bleeding. Which in the past has variably involved pain, pain, sickness, periodic passing out and a little pain for good measure.

But hey. You take what you can get, right?

reading: my french paper
listening to : Galileo // The Indigo Girls