I haven't stayed up all night in such a long time. I'm feeling the kickback from that now, having already spent an hour feeling sick to my stomach and swapping breakfast for coffee so I could stay awake. This was after I passed out for a few hours, ironically wrapped in blankets on the couch.
Back on grounds, comfortably ensconed in my own room with the quiet rain tapping outside and a couple short paper assignments waiting for me. I know they're due soon but I just can't bring myself to start yet. I'm not worried - everything gets done in its own time, particularly near the end of the semester. And the longer paper is for my favorite course.
I just wolfed down a bagel and I'm not totally sure why my head is still a little dizzy. I think I need longer for the food to hit my system, and then I'll be fine (right?). But it's fine -- I have time, plenty of time, nothing in the world that I need to do.
Hey, it's 2:34. Friend time = perhaps not totally expected (friend time does not usually include watching a sunrise together) but totally worth every minute. I am cultivating more and more respect for the rarity of the way I can rest my head on your shoulder and tell you how much I adore my girlfriend, without the slightest strangeness or expectation. I am learning to hold room for friends in my life without taking myself away.
I was floating on caffeine and happiness when I came back this afternoon. Things I am grateful for:
-the way the tunnels smell when it rains (half disgusting and half like home)
-how i am both sad and happy when i listen to that doria roberts song (sad because it first belonged to K. and R. and a feeling that is in the past, and happy because i get to sing it with you, ladyfriend)
-coffee
listening to : Mothers, Sisters, Daughters, and Wives // Voxtrot
reading : La Vie Devant Soi // Romain Gary
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